Dog days..

Have you ever been through one of those times in your life when nothing you did seemed to work out? When you felt as if merely existing was becoming a difficult act, and getting through the day a major achievement? If you answered yes to the following, then you probably have some sense or understanding of how I'm feeling at the moment. Not that my response is to give up in despair, simply that I am finding being in this world more problematic than I have for a while.

Much of the anxiety I am feeling has its roots in societal rather than personal causes. I have become increasingly aware over the last decade that the world is in large measure controlled by cliques of dark little men, who make decisions that affect the fates of millions, primarily in private, and with little consultation or consideration for the rest of us. Not only that, but in their quest to bring about what they believe is the new world we should all live in, it seems they are willing to lie, cheat, steal, and even kill, if it will aid them in the process of unfolding their extremely unfriendly agenda. Whilst this may all sound terribly conspiratorial to those of you who dismiss such things, I believe that any serious research into such matters would reveal that it is not. The fact that many people do not wish to investigate such things, and rationalize the evidence to create comfortable explanations they can live with, does not make this fact any less true. The conclusions I have reached, are not based on a desire to believe in bad things, but simply on a consistent encounter with evidence that supports the view that these are the real truths we spend so much of our lives hiding from.

As a result of these conclusions, and because of some personal difficulties that have aided that sense of weariness, I have at times this past month considered giving up podcasting and blogging entirely. I feel tired out with it all, and marginalized in the way that people who speak out about unpleasant things often are. I'm not trying to make a virtue out of some misplaced sense of martyrdom here. I recognize that in many respects my western lifestyle still has some privileges not enjoyed in certain parts of the globe. Nonetheless the sense of emotional fatigue I feel, is taking it's toll. How exactly I will resolve it I haven't decided yet. I might take a proper break from the whole thing for a while, or I may find that I can snap out of it with a little detachment and a few days of relaxation. Whatever the solution, this blog will no doubt be undergoing some changes in the short term.